Exclusively Roman

There is no feeling more surreal than realizing you are so close to meeting your offspring. I never expected i'd be feeling so simultaneously mixed all at once. Euphoria, at the prospect that tomorrow, by lunchtime, it's likely that i'll be holding my little baby boy. And riddled with nerves, of course, that i'm not prepared enough to deal with even the necessities of child rearing, much less setting the example for how this little person will grow up to interact with the world. I've dutifully read every Parenting, Baby Talk, and Maternity magazine subscribed to me in the past nine months, checked my Babygaga religiously to ensure that I took care of myself whilst my little bambino was developing inutero, and also signed up for the Forums, to gain some introspect of motherhood, and young motherhood, but I still feel as if there's so much I don't know, and can't possibly know, that I must learn from experience alone.I sit here, and I ricochet off the walls od my room. Sunshine walls, Hello Kitty plush, My Little Pony, Winnie the Pooh, and wonder how my own transition from Nursery dweller to young adult, and mother happened so quickly, seemingly overnight, and now, every decision regarding the life of another begins with me. It's a daunting feeling, but i'm as ready as i'll ever be. I wish that I had that extra week or two that we had counted on, but for the safety of me and Roman, i'm more than willing to sacrifice that luxury. I'd also love to know that George and I won't suffer from this. I won't go on the cliche soulmate rant, but I can honestly say that i've never met anybody, male or female, young or old, that I seem to be as compatible with as I am with George. We've been together for over six months, and my heart still surges and plunges simultaneously, when I first see him after our designated week apart, and i'm just worried that the stress of this new situation will drive us apart, rather than bring us even closer together. We both love little Roman to pieces, and regardless of all these little grievances, we can't wait to meet him, to hold him, and to have our god-given chance of parenting this little miracle. Here's to the last day of just the two of us, and to an upcoming new day of us three! I'm going into the hospital tonight, at three centimeters dilated, to take a pill that will ripen my cervix overnight. They're starting the Iv-drip early tomorrow morning, and because of how close Roman is to the opening, anticipate that he'll be here before Lunch.